Unspoken Truth of a Deaf Mind

There's one thing that has been frustrating me. And three times it happened today. Western culture is overly sensitive and it limits one's ability to say what needs to be said. The interesting thing is that in some cases many words are spoken through body language and tone. Though some of us aren't in tuned as others, human nature as a whole is constantly trying to read what the other person actually is saying without saying. And dammit, I'm tired of it.

Today at Chi-chi's we had a horrible waitress. Allow me to address her:

It's not that you did anything extremely wrong, but what you were attempting to do right you just did it horribly. How often do I need to be asked if everything's okay? I don't mind being asked that once, maybe twice, but don't ask me everytime you step past my booth. And most certainly don't interrupt my current conversation to ask me without using common sense interjections such as, "Excuse me" or "Pardon". And of all things, don't ask me while you're in transit for the sake of asking. Cause even if I had something to say you would be long gone before I uttered my first word.

And after you give us the check, you suddenly cease the five minute check ups and disappear for 15 minutes with us waiting for you to pick up the credit card to pay. I just don't get it.

I wanted to tell you, "Look, you performed horribly as a waitress today and we were only one of two tables for you. I am inclined to not live you a tip whatsoever. Next time, pay attention to the circumstances. Don't interrupt so often. And don't ask me how I'm doing everytime I take a bite to eat or a sip to drink. Frankly, that's rude."

But what stopped me from telling her? Cause I know she would have been offended by it. No one can take critism constructively anymore. True enough, I don't know for sure how she would have reacted, but based on the idea I got of her persona I think she would of. Regardless, due to the oversensitivity of Americans as a whole, I was inclined to bite my tongue.

Just again this happened to me again when I was talking to my upline in financial management network I'm in. Now there's nothing wrong with the company and he shows no reflection to the company itself, but I don't think I can trust this guy. Why? Because of his attitude change towards me with no explanation and because of the fact that I think he was tempted to personally sponsor a lead of mine.

Now here's the bullshit of it. It's a bitch to call someone out on something when it's so easy to deny. Yet the tone of voice never lies. It never does. And truthfully speaking I wouldn't have thought anything of the matter if he first didn't mention that he had no intention of stealing a downline.

My mind jumped to the obvious question, "Why the heck would he say that outta the blue after telling me how he talked with my lead and is going to personally meet her."

And it wasn't the words, it was how he said it. And the fact he repeated it more than once.

But gosh darn I wish I could just speak my mind and say:

[Upline's name], I don't trust you. And I don't want to be in your direct organization anymore. I want to leave an join another group and I don't want you to think anything more of it than what it is. Something's fishy, and whatever reason you're clamped on the matter. Have a good day, just no where near me. Thank you.

One day. One day I'll say whatever it is that's on my mind. I just need to learn to avoid the typical bullshit social charade that so commonly goes along with it.