My Wenis

So she lost the bet. And now she owes me a blowjob. Hey, it's not pretty, but that's how the world works. So whatever, she's lying in bed, I'm taking a piss before I head on there with her. I was even polite enough to take a piece of toilet paper and dab it on my wenis head so she doesn't have to endure any unsavory tastes.

So I head out of the bathroom and she barks out, "Did you wash your hands?"

Right then and there my jaw locked tight, my eyes rolled into the top of my head and my brain seized up as a result of the idiocy of the question that resembled more as an order.

Let's recap. I'm in the bathroom. My hands are on my wenis. I'm peeing with my wenis. My hand grabs the toilet paper roll and I rip off a piece and tap my dick head with it to get the little droplet of urine off of it. I flush the toilet and I walk myself and my dick out of the bathroom.

And what does she have concern over? My hands?!?!??!

Again...let's recap. I'm in the bathroom. My hands are on MY DICK. I'm peeing with MY DICK. Keep in mind. This is the same dick that will be in her mouth within the next two minutes. And she cares about my hands?!?!

My goodness. So here's my dilemma. I'm standing naked outside of the bathroom holding every urge I have inside my body to keep me from shutting the fuck up. After all, no man gets a blowjob after he calls the giver of such fine work an ignorant bitch.

So I take a breath. I compose myself. And I slowly turn back into the bathroom and wash MY HANDS.

Digging Up Hoffa

Okay, why they hell are they still spending money looking for Hoffa. The dude has been gone for decades. Let's all just assume he's dead and move on with our lives. I mean, what difference does it make at this point anyways? Is peace and harmony going to spring over the world if they find the dude's remains?

I don't get it. I just don't get it.

I bet there's a betting pool going on at the FBI Headquarters to see what year they find Hoffa in. What else could be the incentive? They certainly aren't going to name a school after the guy that found his bones. So what's the point?

So instead of fighting crime, or whatever it is these FBI guys do, they are throwing on their farmer's gear, grabbing their backhoes and digging up some dude's farm looking for Hoffa.