Boob fined by FCC Boobs

So CBS is getting fined a half a million dollars a a split second shot of Janet Jackson's breast. How freaking retarded is that? My whole life I've been seeing nudity all over the television screen. So what's the big deal now?

Allow me to take you through a bit of a timeline to illustrate my point.

1957: The gorgeous and busty Jayne Mansfield bent over and her nipple was seen on broadcast television to countless viewers.

The Fine: $0.
The Result: Her fan mail no doubt quadrupled as teenage boys saw a glimpse of heaven.

Here's something really interesting. Not even a decade later, viewers were outraged when Barbara Eden's character on "I Dream of Jeanie" was going to show her belly button on network television. It was deemed in too upappropriate for television.

The Result: They filled her belly button with a flesh tone plug. Now how freaking lamo is that?

1973: With complete intention, Valerie Perrine showed her nipples on PBS in a unisex shower scene with Bill Bixby.

The Fine: $0
The Result: Bill Bixby on PBS? It should be nothing but the best for the Hulk. At least he got to see a naked chick outta the deal.

1977: The miniseries Roots showed full frontal nudity of African black women.

The Fine: $0.
The Result: Justified saying it added realism to the film. .

Skip forward to the 90's. NYPD Blue dared to show all types of nudity including the gruesome image of Dennis Franz's ass that tortured America. This image was so disturbing that no where on the net can an image be found. And I am shamed that I even thought to expose you to the horror. Forgive me.

The Fine: $0
The Result: A nationwide simulataneous vomit epidemic, now referred to as "The Day We Were Damned." This is a day that we should never speak of again. Again, I truly apologize if this memory triggered adverse results.

1994: Meredith Baxter (you remember her as Mrs. Keaton from "Family Ties") dared to star in a television network movie called, "The Breast". So naturally, what did she have to do? Show her tits. And I'm not talking just a nipple peek either. You saw everything.

The Fine: $0.
The Result: I have a new found interest in "Family Ties" Reruns.

2004: ER showed full frontal of an 80 year old woman with a child about the age of 12 on the same set. And yes, they were lumpy and saggy. Shame on you NBC for my re-occuring nightmare.

The Fine: $0.
The Result: A nationwide commitment for abstinence after retirement.

Super Bowl 2004: Janet Jackon shows a covered nipple on the SuperBowl.

The Fine: $550,000.
The Result: The Realization that the FCC is run by a bunch of depressed chimpanzees.

For Christ's Sake, you didn't even see a clear shot of her nipple on Janet!! It wasn't until they paused the split second scene, and blew up the image did they realize that the very center of symbol was her nipple. I personally am more offended that I had to suffer watching the young Queer Eye Timberlake.

So let's take a look at some pictures of what I was talking about. You be the judge. Of these pictures, who should have been fined and for who much? It kinda puts perspective on things when they are robbing CBS of so much for something so little.


Jayne Mansfield's Nipple Slip


Mrs. Keaton's Mango


$550,000 boob as determined by FCC boobs