"Conditions of Unconditional Love"
I'm pretty sure I violated on of the sacred rules of relationships.
I've been with my wallet for three years now. We're engaged, but there is no set wedding date, nor even talks of setting a wedding date. But that's another story for another day.
I've noticed that she was starting to put on some weight. It wasn't so bad at first for the first two years as the added weight seemed to divide itself evenly over her entire body. So though, she was heavier, I really didn't take mind.
However, over the last year, the weight started giving her body new shape. Her stomach started to bulge, her legs got thicker, and her butt increased by a good 24%. Still, I put it off. Then I noticed that her face was starting to change. Her cute little head started getting rounder. That's when it really started to bother me. I kept quiet for sometime, as I know it's against all rules to never mention anything about a woman's weight. Especially the one you say you love. And I do. I tell her I love her at least a dozen times a day.
So in conversation one day, I broke one of those sacred rules. I told her that I don't think I could be in a relationship with a fat woman. I don't think I said it in those exact words as I probably said something worse like the habitual idiot I can be. Nothing overtly or covertly mean, mind you. I knew it was going to hurt her feelings, but it needed to be said. And in fact her feelings did get hurt. We talked about it briefly, and it was a difficult conversation to have. It was then that she threw out the line that sparked this topic:
"If you love me, it shouldn't matter."
I'm a bit of a realist. And I gave a typical realist response:
"Bullshit."
Love needs to come with a contract.
"I hereby do solemnly swear to love you, as long as you [state conditions here]...."
I'm not kiddin' either. I don't believe in the nature of any courtship should there be this unconditional love. I didn't say my vows yet. I didn't vow to be with her for good and the bad and all that jazz. So why shouldn't I be allowed to have conditions on our current love? I certainly would assume that she would have the same for me as well.
Let's say, I get hit by a car and I'm paralyzed for life. That's a tragic event, and maybe I'm being a bit extreme but I have a point here. She didn't sign on for that in this courtship. It would be different if we were married, but for now I couldn't blame her if she left me. Heck, I wouldn't want to wipe my paralyzed ass either if I were her.
I stuck to my guns on this issue. And we worked it out. She's going to Weight Watchers and has already lost 4 pounds. And as a testament to the idealogy that we both need to be in shape, I've begun an 8 week training for a race I'll be running on June 6.
And if anything, I think that this boosted the strength of our relationship, as we are both learning to realize that there are certain things we both need to do to keep the other happy in the relationship.
I've been with my wallet for three years now. We're engaged, but there is no set wedding date, nor even talks of setting a wedding date. But that's another story for another day.
I've noticed that she was starting to put on some weight. It wasn't so bad at first for the first two years as the added weight seemed to divide itself evenly over her entire body. So though, she was heavier, I really didn't take mind.
However, over the last year, the weight started giving her body new shape. Her stomach started to bulge, her legs got thicker, and her butt increased by a good 24%. Still, I put it off. Then I noticed that her face was starting to change. Her cute little head started getting rounder. That's when it really started to bother me. I kept quiet for sometime, as I know it's against all rules to never mention anything about a woman's weight. Especially the one you say you love. And I do. I tell her I love her at least a dozen times a day.
So in conversation one day, I broke one of those sacred rules. I told her that I don't think I could be in a relationship with a fat woman. I don't think I said it in those exact words as I probably said something worse like the habitual idiot I can be. Nothing overtly or covertly mean, mind you. I knew it was going to hurt her feelings, but it needed to be said. And in fact her feelings did get hurt. We talked about it briefly, and it was a difficult conversation to have. It was then that she threw out the line that sparked this topic:
"If you love me, it shouldn't matter."
I'm a bit of a realist. And I gave a typical realist response:
"Bullshit."
Love needs to come with a contract.
"I hereby do solemnly swear to love you, as long as you [state conditions here]...."
I'm not kiddin' either. I don't believe in the nature of any courtship should there be this unconditional love. I didn't say my vows yet. I didn't vow to be with her for good and the bad and all that jazz. So why shouldn't I be allowed to have conditions on our current love? I certainly would assume that she would have the same for me as well.
Let's say, I get hit by a car and I'm paralyzed for life. That's a tragic event, and maybe I'm being a bit extreme but I have a point here. She didn't sign on for that in this courtship. It would be different if we were married, but for now I couldn't blame her if she left me. Heck, I wouldn't want to wipe my paralyzed ass either if I were her.
I stuck to my guns on this issue. And we worked it out. She's going to Weight Watchers and has already lost 4 pounds. And as a testament to the idealogy that we both need to be in shape, I've begun an 8 week training for a race I'll be running on June 6.
And if anything, I think that this boosted the strength of our relationship, as we are both learning to realize that there are certain things we both need to do to keep the other happy in the relationship.
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